What is bullying?

What do we know about bullying?

Bullying is not something that we can wave a magic wand at to make it disappear.  There is much we can do in schools to protect children, young people and staff from becoming victims of bullying but there are some very simple things we can all do to stop people from wanting to bully others too.

People won’t bully if:

• they have secure relationships 
• they feel good about themselves
• they have empathy for others
• they are emotionally literate

We all have a part to play in helping each other develop these attributes.

We know it happens a lot

Around a third of children and young people report having been bullied in the last year.  We always think of bullying as something that happens between pupils, but sometimes adults can be bullies or victims too.

We know it affects learning

We cannot access the higher order thinking skills necessary to do well at school if we are distressed.  The measure of a good school is in its recognition of bullying and commitment to challenging it.

We know it’s an abused term

Some pupils and parents might call a one off incident an act of bullying because they think it will be taken more seriously.  Bullying is classified as a repeated behaviour but any distressing incident should be treated with importance.

We know it transcends class

In fact, more affluent areas of the county have higher levels of bullying.  Perhaps people with more sophisticated communication skills and more status to protect are more likely to bully others.

We know where it happens

It’s not just at school, it’s on the way there, out at the weekend and now, thanks to the internet and mobile phones, it’s in children and young peoples bedrooms and homes too.  In school, it often takes place in classrooms, even when staff are present.

We know what it looks like

It can be physical, but it’s more likely to be with words, a look or alienation.  It can be on websites, in emails and text messages.

We know how it feels

Sad. Angry. Lonely. Misunderstood. Confused. Frightened. Insecure. Worthless. solated.

We know what the lasting effects are

Difficulty trusting others. Being quiet, timid or shy. Lack of confidence and low self esteem. Pretentiousness. Find it hard making friends. Feelings of shame and regret.  Poor achievement. Poor mental health, depression, self harm and sometimes suicidal thoughts or actual suicide.

We can start to explain why it happens

Jealousy. Feelings of inadequacy. To become popular. To stay popular. They’re being bullied by someone else. Bored. Competition for attention from the opposite sex.  See it on TV. Don’t want to share their friends. Power.    

We know bullies are often victims

Bullies copy behaviour that is happening to them or bully to make others feel as bad as they do.  Sometimes, a victim who has been bullied for years might lash out and get in trouble and their bully might escape investigation.

Why do people bully?

To get a pay off and:

• feel powerful
• gain admiration, raise status or sense of belonging
• feel there is someone “less” than themselves
• get their own back for something
• communicate/maintain their power/dominance
• bigotry and dislike for particular groups
• expel their anger
• for fun